You know some of those times when you just need to take a shower because it's been a bad day or you just want to dance and sing and no one hears you.....Well tonight was one of those nights but I didn't In tend for it to be.....
Tonight was a night I wanted to take a shower and shampoo my hair and just get ready for Sunday school tomorrow ...... But it didn't go that smooth. I started to shampoo my hair and I noticed some hair coming out, and I thought " no biggie , you loose so much a day it's fine ". But then I went to massage my scalp and all of a sudden strings of hair was coming out. Yes of course I started crying this uncontrollable cry and Chad came running in and all I could do was stare at the pieces of hair in my hands and cry. Chad grabbed my hand and held it and just told me it's going to be ok , and he got me calmed down.
I'm sharing this with you because tonight July 26th 2014 my hair started to fall out. I thought I was safe on the first round of chemo, had it two weeks ago, not as sick but very weak and tired. And I know some of you will say " it's just hair, it will grow back " but I'm 32, I'm a wife, a daughter , a sister, and a friend to so many and I think we just hear cancer and we think oh they are ok. I'm going to live and yes I'm ok, but my heart break still matters . I don't believe in the saying " it always could be worse" anymore. Because we shouldn't grade someone's heartache, Jesus doesn't. To Him it's all the same. My heartache in the shower tonight is the same for someone who had already lost their hair, or lost a family member. I feel like we have lost the compassion for everyone. We grade heartache just like we grade sin, and to Him it's all the same and he doesn't want us to hurt. Yes I know this is a season and oh my goodness, God has taught us so much through this. I would keep going through it just to see the people and us get closer to God. Now I'm not saying it's easy. We are human and I have a hearts desire, and I know that will come true one day. But I must take it one day at a time and know my God is getting Chad and I through it and even if I have a bad day it's ok, it doesn't mean my faith had lessened , I just need a good cry
Thank you all for loving us and being here for us. We could t do it without prayer, God and family.
With His strength I'll go forth, and be the bright shining light that He wants me to be!
Thank you Ryan for sharing your heartbreak and your heart, no one can know unless they have been thru it theirselves . You go right ahead and cry, you hang on sweet girl , you have a multitude go people praying for you, us Rodens love you!
ReplyDeleteHey Squirrel, I wish there was something, anything I could do for you to be more of a help through this. Know that I am holding your hand from here and praying for you. Cry as much as you need to in order to get past this hurdle. We love you lots and miss you much.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping you would not lose your beautiful hair. :- ( We both know it will grow back but it still hurts. Let's all play a guessing game... Will Ryan's hair grow back another color... curly???
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