Fighting with Faith.....

You know when you get ready to go through a tunnel,and the old saying is "hold your breath until you come out". Well you hold your breath and you cant wait to see the light knowing the end is almost there and you can let your breath out.....Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is always comforting


Sometimes in our life we don't always see the light at the end, we feel like we are stuck in the middle of that tunnel and can't get out .  But in the midst of being in the middle we have the hope that we will get out and be able to breath again. 

As everyone knows I was diagnosed February 17, 2014 with cancer. It was a huge shock to Chad and I, we just thought it was a cyst on my knee and since they couldn't drain it, they would remove it.  But God had other plans and it is a very rare sarcoma cancer. Last week seems like a huge blur, the doctor tried to do a biopsy in the room and it didn't work , so we had to go back the 20th and do an open biopsy. So we went back and a very dear friend and sister to me drove us so we could just relax , and they did the surgery, and he had to remove 80 % of the tumor because it started to grow out of my skin. They told me to come back Monday March 3 for the results. They said if its the sarcoma they think it is then it will be 3 months of chemo and 3 months resting then 6 months recovery, so they said give them a year and i'll be good as new.  

I'm still believing and praying the biopsy comes back and the doctors say "Wow we dont know how to explain this but its not cancer" and if God choose for it to still be cancer then there is a reason. Last Monday I asked the doctor what caused it, and he said bad luck. So I don't believe in bad luck .....I believe that God has allowed this to happen for a reason and everyone is going to see His hand and work in this, and He will get the glory. 

It has been a tough week and I have had some sad moments, but we can feel everyone's prayer and love, that's what is getting us through. We were able to go in for the weekend to see our parents and family, we both needed that as well as they did. God gave me the strength to have fun, laugh and even cry with our family. My knee is still sore, but as time goes it gets better. 

I cant ask God right now " Why  Me?" because Chad and I have already seen Him in our youth, family,friends and us. So I don't want to ask because we are all growing in Christ and becoming stronger . There are so many songs that are helping me and getting me through this. I am trusting and believing that what ever happens and what ever we go through God has us and He isn't letting us go. One song that says everything we are praying for is  'You Can Trust Our God', by love and the outcome. We can trust our God , He knows what He is doing, it might hurt now but we won't be ruined. I won't be ruined from this, Ill be stronger and ill be a different and better person from this . I'm already learning through this and knowing we have everyone's love, and prayers it just absolutely amazing . Words can never explain how much Chad and I are so grateful to have yall's love. Thank you for the women who have reached out to me that has gone through this or a family member that has gone through it. Your encouraging words are very uplifting and thank you for thinking of me.  

To end on a very happy note.....last night we picked up our kids for Aftershock and I walked into our room called The Well and all of our sweet kids made posters and hung up, and cut out different shapes with different encouraging sayings on them and hung them from the ceiling. They also printed out my motto: Fighting with Faith and put it on a huge cross that we have in our room, then the cherry on top of the ice cream one of our sweet youths, she did an interpretive dance to Casting Crown Who am I... Wow I am so loved, and very honored that God chose us to be their youth leaders and for me to be their big sister! 

Again everything that keeps coming up in devotions .. Songs...sermons and out of peoples mouth is Be Still and Know.... So that's what I am hanging on to and knowing in the end He wins and Ill be back to normal. Just what ever your going through I know it might hurt or seem so hard, or you think your in the middle of that tunnel but don't give up , He is pushing you through and know you will come out even stronger , and as Mandisa says "You will be an over comer"

Thank you again for praying, emails, love, text, phone calls and just thinking about us. Because when we are sad that's what uplifts us 

" Be strong and courageous . Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you" Deuteronomy 31:6